All I want for Christmas...

Hope you enjoyed the video!  I absolutely love it!!  As I initially wrote this, I still didn't have insurance in place but I hoped that this video would represent the feelings I would soon be having if I could just get things finalized.

So here's the DL:

When I completed my application on Healthcare.gov, I was deemed eligible for Medicaid because of how I put in my estimated income for 2014 based on 2013 figures.  I have been going back and forth between Healthcare.gov and Medicaid ever since.  I knew that I didn't qualify for Medicaid because Utah did not accept the expansion of Medicaid benefits (neither did NC).  However there were two BIG issues I missed:

1. Because of the income amount I put in, I fell in this ridiculous gap that exists between federal and state coverage.  If you make $11, 500, then you qualify for lower premiums in the Healthcare.gov Marketplace.  If you make less than $11,500, you may qualify for Medicaid but only if your state accepted the expansion.  If you live in a state that did not accept the expanded coverage of Medicaid then you unfortunately have to select coverage from private insurance companies and pay the full premium rates (which only normally happens, for an individual, if you make more than $49,500 a year).  Does this seem as counter intuitive to anyone else as it does to me?

2.  Once you've been deemed eligible for Medicaid, the Healthcare.gov people will tell you that there's nothing they can do to change or remove your application until after you have been accepted or denied by the state agency.  RED FLAG:  The state of Utah has not received any information for ANYONE who has been deemed eligible for Medicaid by Healthcare.gov.  The two systems apparently do not communicate so the Utah Medicaid office only has record of my application with them from back in October, nothing from when my Healthcare.gov app was submitted.  And again, there's supposedly nothing that the Healthcare.gov side can do, no master reset button that will allow the consumer to withdraw their application that has been deemed eligible for Medicaid.  I know that I do not qualify for Medicaid, why you make ask?  Basically because I'm young, have no disability (even though Wilbur could potentially be considered a disability according to some documents you read), and am not pregnant nor do I have dependents.

So you may ask, where does that leave you Anita?
The answer:  Up the proverbial creek without a paddle.

On Dec. 23 (what was supposed to be the last day to enroll if you wanted coverage to start Jan. 1), I walked into the offices of the Utah Health Policy Project.  Even though this was an extremely busy day for them, they were able to fit me in.  At 10:30 a.m. or so I sat down with one of their certified application counselors, code name Maverick because he was my wingman throughout the day (though I guess that would make me Iceman...I may have to rethink this code name).  By this point I had already figured out Issue 1 and together Maverick and I figured out Issue 2.  I think we were both in agreement that it made absolutely no sense and was beyond ridiculous how this was set up.

Me with Maverick at UHPP

We tag teamed getting through to the Healthcare.gov people.  After an initial 40-minute or so wait (this was the second or possibly third time we had call them at this point with similar wait times each time), we got in touch with a lady who kept saying their system was down and there was nothing they could do.  I told her okay, but I was not hanging up and calling back and she just needed to put me through to a supervisor, I was willing to wait because I had no other option at this point.  I finally got to speak to the supervisor only to be told Issue 2 again and I was like that's not acceptable.  Then I tagged Maverick in.  After a 15-minute or so conversation, the supervisor was convinced to create a new application for me.  Yay team Maverick!!  It took forever to resubmit and I'm pretty sure the lady was mad at me and Maverick by the end because we were so insistent and persistent but whatever, I ended up with a new application ID.  I let the lady off the phone because I wanted to be able to check through the system and make sure that the plan I chose was one contracted with the University of Utah Healthcare system for 2014. She said it would take 30 minutes for my new application to show up in the computer system.  I used that time to figure out the plans that Utah accepted that I thought I should be able to get through Healthcare.gov.

Only the new app didn't show up and the insurance company couldn't sign me up for that plan on their side so I had to go back to the drawing board and call Healthcare.gov again.  After an hour on hold, my call was DROPPED!! I was mad as a wet hen!! And completely exhausted because by this point it was 4:30 p.m.  Maverick and I had been at this for 6 hours!! And while I'd been on hold he'd been helping other people sign up for insurance.  I told one of his coworkers that I didn't know how they did it.  It has to be so frustrating for them on a daily basis trying to navigate a new system that people (consumers and employees of Healthcare.gov) don't always understand.  I've got mad respect for the people who work at UHPP and other agencies who provide similar services, that takes a whole new level of patience on their parts to not be ready to pull their hair out on a daily basis.

So I left UHPP, tired, hungry, slightly dejected, knowing I'd need to call Healthcare.gov one more time and praying that if I called them late enough by East Coast time that I would actually get through.  I admit I stopped at IHOP for cinnamon hot cocoa and pumpkin pancakes.  I just wanted a little holiday cheer which seemed in short supply.  Then I got home and there was a Christmas present from Aunt Gladys waiting on my doorstep.  Somehow she knew all I wanted to do was cuddle up and rest for a bit because there was a beautiful plush holiday blanket with poinsettias and cardinals on it!  So I got comfortable and after a little break, I called Healthcare.gov again.  I called them at 7:30 my time and two hours later I woke up (yes, I'd passed out in my chair) with a start to realize that someone had actually picked up.  What happened next is quite frankly my Christmas miracle!!

I managed to wake up before I was hung up on though who knows how long she'd been waiting for me.  Her name was Mary...how perfect is that two days before Christmas.  She was kind and competent (I mean like really seemed to know what was going on and how to navigate the system fully!).  I gave her my information to verify my identity and low and behold she could see the new application.  I told her I knew what I wanted.  I was after a Silver plan whose parent company was BCBS that had a full contract with UUMC.  We found a couple of other options first and then she found my plan.  She agreed with my assessment that the plan was a good one and GOT ME SIGNED UP!!!!!  I told her she was my Christmas Angel and broke into tears.  I think she started crying too and told me it made her Christmas to be able to help me.

I am BEYOND relieved!! I can't even express how happy it makes me to know that I have a plan in place that will begin January 1.  I still need to follow-up after Christmas and pay my premium with the insurance company directly but things are FINALLY in place.  I can get off the merry-go-round now and move forward!! HALLELUJAH!!!

Just wanted to share one more flash mob treat for everybody, this one with bagpipes and drums!!  I wish everyone a Happy Holiday season!! As the story goes...Merry Christmas to all and to all a Good Night!!!!

I'll take "Honest Answers vs. False Hope" for $2000, Alex.

DAILY DOUBLE!!
Alex Trebek:  All right, Anita, what is your wager?
Anita:  My continued sanity
Alex Trebek:  For your continued sanity, the answer is...

(There should be a chime in here somewhere as the answer is revealed.)

The value of a customer service representative providing a straight and honest answer instead of a carefully constructed placation.

Anita:  What is priceless?
Alex Trebek:  That is correct!

I'll go ahead and caveat this right now, this post is a product of my continued frustration in the seemingly never-ending search to get health insurance.

So October 1 was the day that the process of getting health insurance as we knew it was supposed to be revolutionized.  This was a day I had been looking forward to ever since I found out about Wilbur.  As part of the Affordable Care Act, I could no longer be denied insurance coverage because of a pre-existing condition.  Enter the stupid government shutdown...

Now I don't normally talk about my political views but frankly that entire situation infuriated me.  I do not care what your political affiliation is, the purpose of our government is to work for the people not get into pissing contests with the other party and force a government shutdown.  Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't we taught as children how to share and play well with others??  Aren't we all forced to work WITH other people on a daily basis to resolve disagreements??  The asinine behavior put on display by the members of our House and Senate is embarrassing and frankly in ANY other company or organization in the world, every last one of them would probably be looking for other employment right about now.  But that's beside the point...

The government shutdown meant that the new healthcare.gov website went live with a skeleton crew available to work and trouble-shoot any issues that arose with the site.  It took me weeks to actually create an account and a few more weeks after that before I could log onto the website using said account.  Not to mention the fact that the information on potential plans was not available on the website.  So you were trying to apply for coverage without being able to compare the options beforehand.  (I think that issue was the fault of the insurance companies as well as the website managers.)

I would personally be interested in finding out how many people have successfully applied for and selected an insurance plan through the Marketplace (healthcare.gov) at this point.  I have lost track of the number of people I have talked to both online and over the phone over the last couple of months trying to get something sorted out and decided upon.

Once I'd finally gotten my application submitted, I was told only that I may qualify for Medicaid and that the state agency would contact me.  One small problem...I'd already applied for Medicaid and been turned down.  Utah agreed with my assessment, I still don't qualify.  Then I was told that any reduced rate premiums were administered by the state agency.  Again, Utah said that was not the case.  And the vicious cycle of calling healthcare.gov then calling Utah's workforce services continued.  At one point, my call was "accelerated" to the "Advance Resolution Center" giving me hope that I might actually be able to talk to someone who knew what the heck was going on.  They were supposed to give me a call within 72 hours, let's just say that period of time has come and gone and I'm still waiting.

Today, I got to speak to Stacy.  I rehashed the whole ordeal and everything I'd been trying figure out.  She listened, even when I was crying hysterically and probably made no sense.  Then wonder of wonders happened, instead of making some lame excuse about how the computer system was having problems, or that she couldn't view or edit my application, or that I'd have to be redirected to the "Advanced Resolution Center" in order to get help, or making any multitude of other excuses to get me off the phone, Stacy flat out told me that if I tried to reapply I'd probably get the same options from their website and that I should try to apply directly with the insurance companies.  FINALLY, someone acknowledged that I wasn't going to get the help or the information I needed by always referring back to the Marketplace.  Stacy also was honest with me that by applying directly with the insurance companies, I would have to pay the normal premiums.  Well, Utah had already told me that they have nothing to do with reduced premiums for low-income citizens beyond enrollment in their Primary Care Network that doesn't cover any surgery in the first place.  I had come to terms with that.  I just needed someone to have the guts to tell me how I might actually get the information I needed instead of giving me the run-around and making me think that everything would get resolved if I just kept trying to work within the established system.

I got a list of insurance providers that my neurosurgeon (along with the University of Utah healthcare system) accepts and have narrowed things down.  I can finally make a much needed decision and get on with things.  I just needed to speak to someone willing to do the right thing and give me an honest answer even if it wasn't what I (or someone in a similar situation) wanted to hear.  This whole process has illustrated something to me that I need to remember for life after Wilbur, I do not want to be led on or given false hope in any situation, it only leads to further stress and frustration for me.  Give me brutal honesty anyday!!

Wilbur...your days are numbered!!

December 2, 2013 -- 2:00 pm Mountain Time -- My appt for my functional MRI

I was a little nervous walking into the appointment today, not because of the MRI itself but because this meant that things were finally moving forward and I know what's coming up next and am already anticipating how I'm going to feel or react to the surgery.  It's kind of like me with books, movies or shows; I want to know what's going to happen already!  Patience is not my strong suit.  For instance, I made plans with friends to go see the Doctor Who 50th Anniversary special in theaters the Monday after the worldwide simulcast on Saturday.  And my friends were shocked that I watched it on BBC America on Saturday when it premiered instead of just waiting to see it in 3D on the big screen.  Please!  I always read (or watch) ahead (so that I know what's coming and can prepare for it)!!

Well, shortly after arriving for the appointment, Mercedes and I went back to meet with the nice gentleman I'd spoken to when I made the appointment, we'll call him Dr. J.  Almost as soon as we sat down, I explained about "Wandering Wilbur" and asked if Wilbur and I could get our picture with him.

Dr. J, Wandering Wilbur, and me

Shortly thereafter, the doctor from neuropsychology joined us, we'll call him Dr. B, to talk about what would occur during the fMRI.  As I understand it, the basic premise behind the fMRI is that when you use part of your brain, more oxygen is needed and shows up as a cloud (if you will) around the area of the brain controlling that particular movement or thought process.  So the fMRI allows doctors to compare what your brain looks like at rest to what your brain looks like when you're moving a part of your body or thinking of words.  The "clouds" are colored so that doctors can map the specific controls.

Dr. J and Dr. B walked through everything I would be asked to do beforehand.  Mercedes and I agreed that some of the tasks would be harder for me than others simply because I tend to dwell on some things and overanalyze others, neither of which are helpful in this situation.  I had to tell myself, "don't think too hard," "go with the first thing that pops into your head," "don't overanalyze!" Interestingly, many of the tasks somehow seemed to relate to board games.  Mercedes brought up that one of the tasks was like Scattergories.  For each task there would be a 20 second rest and then the task, then a break and then the task.  Melody took me back to the scanner and got me adjusted before I went into the MRI.

Picture time before getting ready to go in.

I'd told Melody and Dr. J that Wilbur was based off the image I'd seen of the blobfish, so that was the first image waiting for me once I got situated.  But since the picture made me laugh to see it, Melody ended up taking it down because she didn't want me laughing during the scan.  So the first part involved an initial scan, no tasks and I was allowed to pick my music to listen to over the sound of the machine.  I was feeling some Beethoven and if you're ever in need of something relaxing to listen to in an MRI, I highly recommend it!  I was once again thankful that I'm not afraid of small spaces, no anxiety medication needed.  Just a warm blanket because I got cold.  So after Fur Elise and Moonlight Sonata (and one other song I know but can't remember the name of), it was time to start the tasks and put my brain to work!

See that image on the far end of the machine, that's a picture of Wilbur that Melody had waiting for me!

There were a couple of different types of tasks.  The physical tasks involved moving my right thumb back and forth and tongue tapping (not clicking).  There was also a multi-level test where I had to silently make an association and then click a button.  For instance, I was asked to identify which objects I saw on the projection were living; those images I clicked the button for.  The multi-level test also switched between having me identify objects and having me identify similar patterns.  This was one of the ones where it was really hard for me not to overanalyze.  Had to go with my gut, as Gibbs would say!

You know I've never really spent a lot of time pondering how my brain does what it does.  Or thinking about how things are connected or distinguished up there.  Like I had never thought about the fact that just hearing something doesn't mean that you comprehend it as language or understand its meaning.  In the day to day, any sound you hear you can automatically make sense of and when someone is speaking, even if not to you, you understand what they are saying.  Or if they are speaking in another language, you can probably still identify the emotional tone behind their words.  So to have your auditory signals distinguished from your auditory comprehension was a little disconcerting.  So for this one task, my rest break involved me hearing scrambled speech and the task was repeat what I heard back to myself once I could comprehend complete sentences.  I had my eyes closed during that task so I could just concentrate on when the sounds began to make sense again.  Most of the tasks focused on my speech and language control centers of my brain.  I would read the sentence on the screen and fill in the blank with the first word that popped into my head or see a letter and come up with as many words as I could that started with that letter or have a sentence read to me and then repeat it back in my head silently.

Overall, Dr. J said I did great and that he expects all the images will turn out clear because I was able to keep so still.  Afterwards, I ended up going through some similar type tests with Dr. B, only this time I had to say my answers out loud.  I think those are going to work in conjunction with the tasks from the fMRI to give Dr. B and Dr. S a better understanding of how my brain works.  I also found out that Dr. B and Dr. S have been working together on brain tumor surgeries for more than a decade.  Dr. B is going to be the one I talk to and focus on during my time in the OR.  I am definitely going to be wide-awake during most of the surgery and fully aware of my surroundings.  I left feeling like I have a more clear picture of what this is going to be like during the surgery.

Maybe that's why I always read ahead or watch ahead with books, movies or shows.  If you know what's coming, you can prepare for it.  I don't like being scared or remaining in suspense, I don't think I ever have.  I mean I am the child who woke my parents up at 2 or 3 a.m. EVERY Christmas of my childhood to open presents!! Mom has almost no pictures of me opening presents as a child because I always drug her or Dad out of the bed to watch me open presents before either one was awake enough to think of taking pictures.  So by understanding what exactly is going to happen, before it happens, I can try to prepare myself so that I don't worry about ALL the unknowns.  If I can get rid of some of my fears and uncertainties now, then when the surgery happens, I'll still be scared but not quite as scared as I would have been otherwise.  What's that saying, "Forewarned is forearmed!"  Well, consider me forearmed!

The MRI images will be processed by the end of this week.  Dr. B will consult with Dr. S in the next week or so.  Dr. S will schedule another appointment shortly thereafter.  I'll be able to delay surgery long enough to make sure insurance goes into effect.  In all likelihood, I will probably be having surgery sometime in January.  What a crazy way to welcome 2014!

Finally...News to Give Thanks for!!!!

This whole process has created a riot of emotional highs and lows for me.  Recently, I've been feeling frustrated because I felt like I was getting nowhere fast.  Well today something FINALLY happened.  I got a call this afternoon from a nice gentleman telling me he'd been notified (by who I don't know) that I was trying to schedule a functional MRI.  I replied indeed I was, then asked could he help me with that?  He could.  I am now scheduled for my functional MRI on December 2, 2013 at 2 pm (Mountain time).  I figured the 2nd at 2 pm was a date and time I wouldn't be likely to forget or get confused about.  The gentleman, who it turns out is going to be the one administering the test, agreed with my logic.  And instead of me having to track people down trying to figure out who I need to talk to next, having the procedure scheduled automatically notified the next person I needed to talk to (the financial person) about what's going on.  I've already received the call and know exactly how much I will have to pay in order for the test to proceed as planned.

Can you tell that my hair matches the colors I used for "Wandering Wilbur"?
Not hard to guess what my favorite colors are, huh?

And because of all the love and support I've received over the last couple months, I know I can take care of the upfront costs.  I'm so grateful for everyone who has been praying for me and willing to help with my medical expenses.  From everyone who attended the roast beef supper at my home church, Casar United Methodist, or donated to the Assassinate Wilbur fund, or participated in the 2nd Annual Run From Knobby thank you thank you thank you!! For all the churches that have me on their prayer lists, please keep me there and pray that this procedure will create the clearest road map possible for the neurosurgeon!

In the spirit of Thanksgiving and because I saw this on Facebook today of all days, I'm posting a joyful video for your viewing pleasure!!

That just gives me chills!  I've always thought "Ode to Joy" one of the most beautiful pieces of music ever written.  It's even more special when you factor in that one of my favorite hymns, "Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee," is set to the same melody and that it's one of the few songs I learned to play on the piano (waaayyy back when) that I still remember how to play by heart.  Since our church almost always sang it right before or right after Thanksgiving, it's even more appropriate in my mind for the season!

Halloween...A time for cultural understanding?

So yesterday was obviously Halloween in the US (I feel that I have to clarify "in the US" because I only recently learned that other countries celebrate Halloween, or the cultural equivalent, at different time of the year.  Brazil celebrates in June, who knew!?!)  Now even though I love Halloween and threw a Halloween party last year where I dressed up as Carmen Sandiego (yes, I did!), this year I'd made absolutely NO plans for Halloween.  I mean I figured I would probably end up watching a Halloween movie or something, but I live in a secured building with only a few kids, I wouldn't be having Trick-or-Treaters.  One thing I had decided to do was take Skipper (Mercedes's pup dog who I claim aunt privileges over) to the dog park because yesterday was an absolutely beautiful day in Salt Lake.

Skipper aka the Skip Meister

Beautiful Halloween Day in Salt Lake City!!









When I went to pick Skip up, Mercedes allowed that I should just hang out with her because she was expecting to have a number of Trick-or-Treaters and that I wouldn't need to run home and figure out a costume because she was sure she had something I could wear.

Me as an Indian Princess

Turns out Mercedes had a sari I could wear.  Now, I know Indian culture has gone "mainstream," if you will, over the last five to ten years or so.  I remember watching Bend it Like Beckham and loving the movie not just for the overall storyline but also for the glimpse into a culture I had very little direct exposure to personally.  I loved the women's outfits and the tradition and meaning behind the henna, it all fascinated me. Then came Bride & Prejudice (a Bollywood style take on a Jane Austen classic) and then Bollywood became a featured dance style on So You Think You Can Dance through the work of choreographer, Nakul Dev Mahajan. (For your viewing pleasure, I've added the first Bollywood routine to appear on the SYTYCD stage, you're welcome!)

But even with this cultural fascination, I had never attempted to wear a sari.  Probably a good thing since it took Mercedes and me twenty minutes to get me in it the first time and I had to redo the top part I don't know how many times!!  Saris are typically one long piece of fabric (I mean like 8 or 9 YARDS of fabric) that is strategically wrapped and tucked to both cover and accentuate the feminine form.  I have a newfound respect for the women who wear a sari everyday!  I'm sure with practice it comes easy and every woman develops their own little tricks to wearing the sari how they want and keeping it in place...but WOW!!  Trust me, it's a lot harder than it looks!

With a Bindi and a few hand jewels, my outfit was complete!

Since I was going cultural, Mercedes decided that instead of wearing her Velma dress, she would wear her Nigerian outfit.  At the recent conference in Kenya, there was a Nigerian delegation from the Ministry of Tourism.  I had helped them get their registrations set up and organized letters for their visas and after those interactions, I was disappointed to not get to meet them.  But Mercedes met them and loved them.  They gave her a traditional Nigerian outfit, complete with head  wrap and sent me a beautiful wrap back to the US with Mercedes.  Now during the conference, Mercedes had been unable to properly wear the head wrap and had been unable to connect with Grace to get the proper tutorial.  So last night, Mercedes and I watched tutorial videos and spent 30 minutes (maybe more like 40 minutes) trying to figure out how to properly tie and wrap the head wrap.

Now, you may be like me and not realize that for Nigerian women, the head wrap is an art form!  It's absolutely unbelievable what they are able to do!  (Seriously, Google Nigerian Head Wraps and just take a look)  When you watch the video tutorials, they made it look so easy, but again it's not as easy as it looks!

While we were getting ready, I kept thinking about this article someone had posted on Facebook in the last week or so, talking about how many times Halloween costumes make fun of another culture.  A student group at Ohio University started a campaign called "We're a Culture, not a costume."  And I wondered if our outfits would be considered insulting to the cultures we were trying to represent.  I wondered if the intent behind our actions would change how two white girls dressing as an Indian and a Nigerian would appear to outsiders.  We didn't go out and buy a kitschy Halloween representations of a cultural costume.  Mercedes had an actual sari for me to wear.  And her Nigerian outfit was presented to her as a gift from a Nigerian woman.  When else in the United States, other than at Halloween, would people not give either of us weird looks for wearing those outfits around town?  Plus Mercedes and I have too much respect for other cultures, as people who love to travel and explore cultures outside our own, to ever purposefully make fun of another culture.  If anything, I would say our Halloween adventures created an even greater understanding and appreciation for the two cultures we tried to represent.

Hope everyone had a safe and happy Halloween!

Why are brain tumors everywhere all the sudden?!?

 Before I start, here's some more adventures by "Wandering Wilbur."

Me and Lauren at Beyond Glaze in Sugarhouse

Jackie and Lin giving "Wandering Wilbur" the beat down!

I don't know if this will make sense to anyone but me.  But do you ever feel like once you make a decision about something or learn about something, suddenly the subject of that news or decision is absolutely EVERYWHERE!!

For example, when I was looking into grad schools and had decided to apply to Utah and later move to Salt Lake City, it suddenly seemed like Salt Lake City was everywhere.  I can't even remember the specifics now but it showed up on the Travel Channel and the Discovery Channel and the History Channel or maybe was featured in an episode of a show I normally watch (like a Criminal Minds episode) or something like that.  Maybe there were suddenly questions on Jeopardy! about Utah and Salt Lake City.  I don't remember what all there was. I do remember distinctly watching a show with Dad and Uncle Andy about how the glass bridge at City Creek Mall was built and put into its place over Main Street and the downtown TRAX line (I think that was actually on "How It's Made.")  But that's not the point.

NOW it's happening with brain tumors!!  I was watching something the other day when a PSA came on featuring Bob Crawford from the Avett Brothers.  Now I'm peripherally aware of the Avett Brothers because of Callie and do enjoy their music (again because of Callie; I'm pretty sure one of their songs played whenever I rode with Callie anywhere during the three years we've known each other!)  You would think I would be more familiar since they are local boys (from Concord, NC) but I wasn't.  But again, that's beside the point.

When I heard brain tumor and Avett brothers in the same sentence during a commercial, I paid attention in ways that I normally don't.  (I mean I normally mute commercials)  For obvious reasons, this struck a chord with me.  And it breaks my heart to think of a two-year old dealing with some of the same treatments as me.  I mean I'm old enough to know what's really happening and to have time to mentally prepare myself for what's going to happen and think through and try to come to terms with what my life will be like a year from now.  But she doesn't get it.  How in the heck do you explain that to a two-year old???

What's even scarier is when he talks about 700,000 people walking around with brain tumors and many not even knowing it. (Knife to the gut right there)  So with a US population of over 316 million, that's like 2 people out of every 1000 citizens have a brain tumor of some sort. (I think I got the math right on that one, so sue me if I'm wrong (but not really)).  And most people aren't likely to know unless they have cancer.  I feel like for most cancer patients who have a brain tumor, the tumor developed after they've already been battling some other form of cancer.  If I'm wrong, again sorry.  But unless every citizen goes out there and gets a CT scan or an MRI (and who's really going to do that for fun) most people may never realize.

I'm not asking anyone to donate to the National Brain Tumor Society (though I have a feeling my involvement with this society is just beginning) but I guess I am asking people to raise awareness.  I found out seemingly by chance.  It took six seizures occurring in a 12 hour period (or so) before I would admit something was wrong (even though I'd been having symptoms for two years).  And I went in so upset I couldn't talk when I first walked into the hospital and thinking they were going to think I was crazy and tell me that there was nothing wrong with me.  (Caveat:  this subject has also been on my mind because of one of those special offers notices I received through Amazon for a book called It's All in Your Head by Eva Hagberg.  By the way, how do they figure out what special notices to send you?  It was way creepy to have this particular book show up on my Kindle.)  And now I'm going to sound like one of those infomercials...if you or someone you love are having weird health symptoms that you can't explain, then for Pete's sake, TELL SOMEBODY!!

For the most part, each individual person does not live on a deserted island with no outside human interaction (Tarzan being the most notable exception I can think of, you're welcome to mention others).  Most people, like me, probably have a much wider network or community than they are aware of (the outpouring of love, support and prayers I've received has been overwhelming and I am eternally grateful).  Please don't let fear, embarrassment, pride or sheer stubbornness allow you to put your health at risk.  I know there may be people who would say something to the effect of "I'd rather not know so that I could continue to live my life normally."  I say I'd rather know what I'm dealing with no matter what!  You can't fight an invisible enemy!  (I mean really! I've seen enough comics and movies with invisible characters portrayed to recognize that they always seem to come out of any fight in better shape than their visible counterparts!)

I guess the main point of this post is just to say take care of yourself and those you love.  Don't borrow trouble, but when trouble knocks at your door, arm yourself with knowledge and fight back!

***Update***

Okay I've already changed my mind.  I just made this post and I know I wasn't asking anyone to donate to the National Brain Tumor Society.  But I just found Tulips Against Tumors!  If anyone IS interested in helping the society, I think this is a beautiful way to do so!  My Grandmaw Macie always grew tulips each year, I think they were her favorite flower.  I know they're definitely one of my Dad's and mine!  The bulbs have to be planted in the fall and survive the winter before blooming in the spring.  There's some poetic beauty there that I just love!!

Tranquility Tour with Kimberly Wilson

One of the fun things about moving to Utah for grad school has been all the people I've met who moved to Utah as well.  Since we're all transplants, I think we've all worked harder on our relationships and on creating a community amongst ourselves.  Part of my community includes these amazing peeps:

Holi Festival 2013  (L to R:  Eric, Bobbie, Me, Mercedes, & James)

Bobbie and Mercedes are both yogis (I think that is the appropriate term).  And over the years, I've tried yoga but always felt awkward and slightly out of sync with whatever was going on in the class (kind of like a bull in a china shop if you will).  It honestly hasn't been an experience I've really enjoyed or received the benefits from in the way that other people seem to.  (I've even tried Bikram Yoga, I managed to stay in the room the whole time but it was close)

Enter Kimberly Wilson and the Tranquility Tour!

Bobbie knows Kimberly from DC (because that's where she and Eric are transplants from) and hosted the stop on the Tranquility Tour that has taken Kimberly and her beau, Tim across the country!

Now Kimberly is the real deal. She is the owner and founder of Tranquil Space Yoga Studio (listed as one of the top 25 yoga studios in the world by Travel+Leisure Magazine).  She is also owner and designer of TranquiliT clothing line.  Additionally, Kimberly is the founder and director of the Tranquil Space Foundation, including Tranquil Teens, a non-profit that teaches yoga, creativity, and leadership to teenage girls.

I became interested in the workshop because Bobbie had talked about Kimberly and her books (Hip Tranquil Chick, Tranquilista, and just recently published Tranquilologie) on several occasions.  And so I thought, if there's anybody in the world who needs tranquility in their lives it's me!  (I mean with this new medication making me irritable, my road rage is worse than ever!  I now get mad when people don't pull all the way up to the line at a stop light, thereby failing to trip the dang sensor that makes the light change faster, ugh!  It's little things like this that suddenly gets on my nerves and drive me crazy! (end of mini-rant)).

I went into the workshop (held October 1 at Vitalize Studio in Sugarhouse) hopeful that something would strike a chord and came out of the workshop feeling like I'd had an hour long massage.  I'm serious!  That's how relaxed and at ease and TRANQUIL I felt after the workshop!!

Tranquility Tour Salt Lake City Workshop Group with Kimberly Wilson

I left with some helpful handouts, a list of books I need to find, knowledge of some simple yoga techniques I can do sitting and some I can do standing that will help me focus my mind and let go of some of the things that stress me, a copy of Tranquilologie (which I plan to read cover to cover), a burning need to find lavender oil, and the beginning of a seasonal art journaling project that will allow me to get in touch with my inner creativity.  Overall, the workshop was a wonderful way to spend three hours and an opportunity to build better relationships in my community.

With Kimberly Wilson, Tranquility Tour, October 1, 2013

With Tasha and Bobbie, Tranquility Tour, October 1, 2013

Now you didn't honestly think I was going to miss an opportunity to take more pictures with "Wandering Wilbur" did you?  Please!!  You never know where he's going to show up next!  Be forewarned!!

To find out more about Kimberly Wilson visit her website: http://www.kimberlywilson.com/
You can also check out her blog and find her podcasts on iTunes under "Tranquility du Jour."

UPDATE :: October 3, 2013

I just finished my art journal project from the workshop.  I knew it would take me a long time because I'm so particular but it's done!!

Back Cover of the Art Journal Project

Inside of the Art Journal

Front Cover of the Art Journal

I love it!!!

What rhymes with Wilbur?

This is probably going to be one of those stories that I go in circles about until I finally get to the point...I promise there is a point to this.

One of my favorite reality TV shows in The Amazing Race mainly because I'm such a travel junkie and want to be able to go to all the places the show goes.  Catharine and I decided years ago (we won't say how many) that we were some day going to try out to be one of the teams on the show, and we will...someday.

But the reason I bring this up is because Travelocity is the major sponsor for the show and there's all these commercials with the Roaming Gnome.  For those of you who don't know, the Roaming Gnome has his own action figure that you can buy on Amazon.  People buy this figurine and take the Roaming Gnome with them on trips and take his picture in various settings doing a variety of activities.

Now I kind of have some experience making photos like this.  When I worked at WDW, I bought Stitch because he's just so cute and is such a troublemaker.  I posed my Stitch in and around the apartment and made up captions for all the photos.  Below are two of my favorite pics:

Stitch thinks he's the Cookie Monster

Stitch can't stay out of trouble!! Got caught playing in the box but couldn't escape the bubble wrap!

So it probably shouldn't come as a surprise that I would decide to do something similar with Wilbur.  Many of you have seen the picture I posted in a previous post about the pitiful-looking Blobfish.  (I'm still kind of snickering every time I see the photo)  Meet my "artistic rendering" of Wilbur. (Remember I always say that I am a creative person but not an artistic person):

My painting of Wilbur

Wilbur will be making appearances all over the place from this point forward.  In my favorite restaurants, with some of my favorite people, I might even have to introduce Wilbur to Willie Bob (the cat) when I get to visit NC next time.

Wilbur's first outing (this is the reason for the question What rhymes with Wilbur?  I need another word to go with Wilbur that has something to do with travel -- Roaming Gnome wouldn't be the same without the roaming part, right?) was to Snowbird's Oktoberfest Celebration.  Now before any thoughts or comments about beer starts, keep in mind I cannot drink alcohol while on the medication I need to stop the seizures (Sigh!!)  So this was really just a chance to eat German food, listen to German music, enjoy the mountains and listen to the Alp Horns play! (where the deer and the Alpen Horns play, where seldom is heard a discouraging word and the skies are not cloudy all day --- come on, somebody knows this song though I did change antelopes to Alpen Horns on purpose.  I now can't think of ANY of the other lyrics or the actual name of the song!! It just came to me that Alpen Horns fit nicely in place of antelopes, ARGH!!)

I found someone who appreciates German culture as much as I do, Kristin!! She just started at the U and is from Miami so this week in Salt Lake is already winter to her!  I just shake my head and warn her she hasn't seen nothing yet!!  Our first stop was the Oktoberfest Halle, home to the German food and the polka band (I think they're called the B&B Allstars? IDK).  Wursts were on the menu along with real sauerkraut (not the stuff you normally buy in the store) and mustard, lots of mustard.  I tried the spaetzel (is that how it's spelled?) and Kristin got potato pancakes.  We got different sides so we could each try both.  Wilbur decided he wanted a piece of the Black Forest Torte.  I didn't really argue with him (neither did Kristin).

After lunch, we headed up on the Snowbird Tram to the top of Hidden Peak (11,000 ft in elevation) to hear the Alp Horns play.  It was 59 degrees when we left the base, it was 40 degrees at the top with a wind chill that made it feel like 30 or below.  I actually had to head into the warming hut today.

But at least we still got to hear the Alp Horns play!!  And one of the players was a lady who'd played the Horn last year!!  I think even these guys were freezing up there this year!  They didn't play very long.

I took a lot of pics of the surrounding landscape, but I'm probably going to post all of those on Facebook.  But stay tuned for more pics of                   Wilbur's Adventures!!  (Come on people, you gotta help me come up with a name!!  Fill in the blank!!)

UPDATE ::  October 1, 2013

I think the winning title is going to be "Wandering Wilbur" provided by my brother Nathaniel.  Nothing else just seems to roll off the tongue as easy.

Just for a side by side comparison......

I really wanted to see a giraffe but...

When I moved to Utah in August 2010, one of the first things I did as a westerner was travel from Salt Lake to Portland, Oregon for the Ecotourism and Sustainable Tourism Conference (ESTC).  My advisor (or who I hoped at the time would become my advisor) gave me a code to get signed up for the conference, I booked a hotel room in a nearby hotel, and planned my road trip.

Multnomah Falls, 2010

You may or may not know that for two years before I moved to the West, I worked as a Drive Vacation Specialist (later known as a Travel Sales Specialist II) at AAA Carolinas.  I had the opportunity to plan road trips for a variety of clients heading out on the road to see our beautiful country.  I was secretly jealous of several of the trips I planned for going to places I was dying to visit but wasn't sure when I'd ever have the time or money to visit.  Portland was one of those places.

Mt. St Helens National Volcanic Monument, September 2010

The Portland ESTC conference was really the first conference I'd been to as a "professional" so to speak.  I met people there that I still keep in contact with today.  I extended my visit and took a day to drive to Mount St Helens National Monument 30 years after the eruption (I am the daughter of a science teacher, after all, who was teaching Earth & Environmental Science at the time, you pick up things over the years).  Two very important things happened on this trip:  I got involved with The International Ecotourism Society (TIES) and realized that I love the Pacific Northwest.

My little buddy from Mt. St. Helens

The reason for this little walk down memory lane is because my involvement with TIES has continued and grown stronger since 2010.  The 2011 Conference was held in Hilton Head, SC and I was able to attend as a conference volunteer.

ESTC 2011 Crew -- L to R:  Julie, Mercedes, Aine, Me, Dru

I was involved in 2012 with the ESTC again, this time as the volunteer and event coordinator.  I was responsible for interviewing, hiring, and training all the volunteers who helped out with ESTC12 in Monterey. (I added in the event coordinator side because there a lot of "other duties as assigned" once the conference got going and I didn't think volunteer coordinator covered everything).  I had an awesome group of people to work with (I don't care if that makes me sound like I'm bragging on myself!  I'm the one who found them and brought them onboard, so there!).  Monterey was a fabulous host destination!!

ESTC 2012 Volunteer Crew Photo Courtesy of Julie Harper

So that leads us to this summer (which just ended mind you, we are officially in Autumn), where I started working for TIES as the Communications Director.  ESTC13 starts on September 24 in Nairobi, Kenya.  I was supposed to have flown to Nairobi on Sept. 18.  Because we didn't know what the situation was going to be with Wilbur when decisions had to be made, I am still in the United States, safely in Salt Lake City.  I know that my team made it safe and sound to Nairobi and to the conference venue, the Safari Park Hotel.  On Friday, a few members of the team even got to go see some wildlife (No, I'm not pouting too much, I promise).

Giraffe, photo credit Amanda Gardner

But after the horrific and crazy hostage situation that took place over the weekend, I'm thinking that things always happen the way they do for a reason. (If you have no clue what I'm talking about, have you been under a rock this weekend?  Anywho, here's a link to the CNN Updates).  My heart goes out to the families of the deceased and injured.  My prayers go out for the safety of the last remaining hostages who will hopefully be freed in the near future.  So, from now until the end of the month (which is when my team will arrive back in the United States), I'm asking that anyone reading this please say some additional prayers for the TIES team in Nairobi and the ESTC13 delegates who are traveling in from 40 countries worldwide.


UPDATE ::  October 1, 2013

I am super happy to report that the ESTC13 conference went off without a hitch!! We've been getting a lot of positive feedback from attendees about the conference.  I am also happy to report that all of my coworkers arrived safely back in the US of A!!!

We're ready for the next chapter!  Bonito, Brazil here we come!!

Never Doubt the POWER of Prayer!!!

In a letter dated September 12, 2013:

University of Utah Health Care has determined that you qualify for a full charitable write off for services provided prior to the date of this letter.

I know my Momma's dearest prayer was that I'd go in for my appointment with the surgeon and Wilbur would no longer be an issue, having simply disappeared through the power of prayer in two weeks time.  And I know that miracles can and do happen every day!  (But I knew that Wilbur wouldn't let go of me that easily, I mean it has taken two years for me to even acknowledge his existence).

So my biggest concerns have always centered around paying for the treatment I needed since I have no insurance (though I am definitely enrolling in whatever I can on October 1).

When I was in the hospital, once I'd been moved to the Observation Room in the ER, I received a visit from the financial aid office of the hospital.  I worried about whether I could even get on Medicaid in order to get some help (because I had to keep answering "no" to all the Medicaid questions they asked).  Then, the lady told me that the hospital has a charitable foundation arm that can sometimes cover some or all of a person's expenses.  So that's what I started praying for:  "Please, Dear Lord, let me qualify through the foundation, please!"

So I am EXTREMELY happy to report that my first prayer (in what has become a long line of prayers)  has been answered!!  Thank you, everyone for all the love and support so far!!  Please continue to keep me in your thoughts and prayers!!  I ain't rid of Wilbur yet!!

UPDATE :: October 1, 2013

Yesterday I received the billing statement that finally told me how much money I would have owed if it wasn't for the charitable write off.  The total was almost $13,000!!!  I'm so grateful for all the prayers and thoughts being sent my way!

Wilbur's Image...I'll stop laughing at some point...maybe!!!

From National Geographic Photo by S. Humphreys, Australian Museum/NOAA

Sometimes your Facebook News Feed has some pretty incredible updates, or at least mine seems to.  Meet the world's ugliest critter, the Blobfish!  This guy was chosen as the mascot to raise awareness about the endangered status of ugly creatures everywhere!  (I linked National Geographic to the news article with more info).

But what really got me laughing is that FACE!  I mean it's got eyes, a huge honker, and a frowny face and it's even pink.  All I could think was THAT'S WILBUR!!!!!  This is exactly how I imagined him (though the Blobfish is bigger than Wilbur, the expression is perfect!!)

I need a poster of this!!! I am seriously going to be laughing for DAYS about this!!!

Thanks, Nat Geo!  Find of the Day!!

Two Strong Stubborn Southern Women

In the hospital, I remember Mercedes being the first to use this word to describe me and my handling of this situation. I've since heard it over and over both in person and in the posts of friends and family online.

STRONG

But I have to admit, in this context, I don't think I really know what that word means.  I've never really interacted with a lot of people who get this kind of news.  So I don't understand what the expected reaction is or how to respond with strength.  I just keep thinking "it is what it is and there's nothing I can do about it right now."  There's no reason to scream and shout and ask "why me?"  It's happened, I can't change it.  The doctor said that there's a possibility that Wilbur has been with me for 5 or maybe even 10 years already.  Yes, I probably should have recognized that something was really wrong when Wilbur's temper tantrums started and gotten it checked out sooner.  But I'm a notorious procrastinator!

So again, I ask what makes someone strong in the face of adversity.  It's not a lack of crying, cause the Lord knows I have cried until my eyes hurt several times since this ordeal started.  I called Catharine at 4 a.m. my time the day after I got out of the hospital crying so hysterically it's a wonder she understood a word I said (that was the moment the initial shock wore off).  

For some reason, the image that keeps popping into my head is the Willow Tree from my Grandma Hattie's front yard.  You know the branches of a willow don't seem very strong and it's not a good tree for climbing (her Magnolia tree was much better plus you had the added benefit of being hidden by the thick glossy leaves).  But willows have deep roots because they are always seeking sources of water.  And since the branches are pliant, it's the willow that can stand up to a hurricane.  While other trees break, the willow bends.

I also question whether it's really strength on my part or sheer mule-headed stubbornness!  I'm sure there are people reading this right now who would be more than happy to tell anyone just how stubborn I am (cough, cough...Danielle, Mercedes, Amelia, Catharine, Jamie, I might as well just say anyone who has spent a prolonged amount of time in my company!)  I will be upfront in saying that I know I am stubborn and that I get it honest!!  I had the pleasure of growing up with two Grandmas who were hands down two of the strongest, most stubborn Southern Matriarchs you would ever hope to meet in your life!! 

I mean let's think about this a minute, Hattie Beatrice Poole Cooke was born in October, 1911 and Minnie Mae (Macie) Swink Ledford was born in March 1912.  Think about all the events in history that they witnessed and survived!!  World War I, the Great Depression, World War II, Korean War, Vietnam, the Civil Rights Movement, the Space Race, the Cold War, the list goes on.  They both learned how to drive cars when cars were still new technology, they saw the first televisions, first "talkie" movies, the first color televisions and movies, cordless phones, computers, cell phones.  It's overwhelming when you really start to think about all the changes they witnessed in their lifetimes.

With Ayako at the Celebration of Cultures, ESTC12 Monterey, CA

 But again, I digress.  When it comes to stubbornness, both women had it in spades!!  One of my favorite stories about Grandma Macie was from when she was young, still a teenager.  The short bob hair style had just come into fashion and someone in her circle had gotten their hair cut.  But her father wouldn't let her cut her hair because it was so thick and long and beautiful.  She got it in her head that if she went and filled her hair full of cuckleburrs, well then her dad would just have to let her get her hair cut.  (This is explains so much about why I am the way I am, doesn't it?)  Instead of getting her hair cut, she got sat down in front of one of women in her family who had to go through and pull out every last cuckleburr!

I spent a lot of time with Grandma Hattie as a teenager.  I wonder if she knew then that I'd be the one to carry on the Dried Apple Fried Pie tradition.  MawMaw Hattie couldn't hear very well for at least the last ten years of her life or so, but she sure didn't want a hearing aid.  So she learned to read lips. (Again, if you ever wondered where I get it from, here it is)  If Hattie didn't want to hear what you had to tell her, she would deliberately look away from your lips or focus on some point over your shoulder so she didn't have to listen to you!!  I saw her do this to my Momma and other family members time and time again!  It was usually all I could do to keep from laughing out loud because I recognized when she was doing it!

I'd like to think that perhaps some of my strength comes from having known and spent so much time with these women.  The picture I posted of me dressed in 1940's attire was a way for me to pay tribute to them at ESTC last year.  We held the first Celebration of Cultures and everyone was invited to dress up in a way that represented their heritage.  I kept thinking since both sides of my family have been in the US since the 1800's, that coming up with an outfit that paid homage to a way my Grandmas might have dressed would be the most appropriate outfit for me. (Plus I had always wanted a half-hat and found that fabulous blue velvet one at a vintage store in Monterey)

So what I really want to know is:

What do you consider strong?

Who do you look up to as figures of strength?  What attributes do they have?

How do you think I've shown strength? (I promise I'm not fishing for compliments or anything, I genuinely want to figure out how my actions are perceived as strength)

Let me know what you think...

Diagnosis...

After two weeks of not really knowing what was going on and going off of what the residents told me in the hospital, I finally got some answers.  Yesterday, September 11, 2013, I finally got to meet with the neurosurgeon, Dr. Richard Schmidt from the University of Utah hospital.  In filling out my paperwork beforehand, I went ahead and referred to Wilbur as Wilbur.  Mercedes and Danielle were both going to the appointment with me and I figured if I didn't say something upfront, we'd just constantly end up having to explain what we were referring to.  The nurse who showed us back to the room initially, Rob, asked how Wilbur was today right off the bat! (which of course we all laughed about)

When Dr. Schmidt came in, his question was "Why Wilbur? Why not Arthur, the astrocytoma!"  I informed him quickly that my Dad's name is Arthur so that name was not an option! (And anyone who knows my Dad would agree).  He later suggested Ollie the Oligoastrocytoma, but when I think of Ollie the only thing that comes to mind is Oliver Queen and since he's a hero who kicks butt and takes names, Ollie's not a good name for a tumor either.  Wilbur is Wilbur. Done.

Dr. Schmidt started out by explaining where Wilbur has made his home in my head and then went into the grading system of brain tumors.  Grade 4 is the malignant type usually cancerous that has spread from other parts of the body; also typically seen in people 60+.  Grade 1 is the most benign but typically develops in children and young adolescents and is caught and removed before adulthood.  So Wilbur is currently classified as a low grade tumor (probably a Grade 2 though they won't know for sure until they can biopsy the tissue.)  If want to read more, here are a couple of links Danielle sent me.

http://www.abta.org/understanding-brain-tumors/types-of-tumors/astrocytoma.html

http://hope.abta.org/site/DocServer/LowGradeAsx.pdf?docID=301

http://www.cancer.net/cancer-types/brain-tumor

Don't get freaked out by the last link!! It's just a good information source.  They DON'T think it's cancer!!!

The rest of this post is the (mostly) serious and (sometimes) scary outline of what is to come:

Step 1:  Because Wilbur has set up shop in a highly functional area of my brain that they have to be super careful with, I will be needing another MRI.  This one is called a Functional MRI, it's the one with fun colors that lights up when different parts of your brain are used.  This will be used to create a "road map" for Dr. Schmidt so that he knows where Wilbur has pushed things (since they're not in the right spot...I guess I can say I'm not right in the head now, can't I?)  Getting this scheduled and the results analyzed will probably take around six weeks to happen.  The stick in the spokes is that I have to make the financial arrangements to pay for the MRI before I can schedule it.  Let's hope I can perhaps get on short-term Medicaid so I can get this scheduled.

Step 2:  Surgery.  Despite my Momma's prayers that Wilbur would just go away in the two weeks since the diagnosis and I'd never have to go under the knife, surgery will happen.  They can't determine for certain that it's completely benign until they have tissue to biopsy and since they're in there anyway, they might as well take as much as they can while I'm there.  The tricky part is going to be using the road map to make sure that they don't paralyze me or make me lose my speech.  This is where the things go a little science fiction on me.  Dr. Schmidt plans to WAKE ME UP in the middle of the surgery and make me answer questions and move my right arm so he can know how much he can remove without doing more harm than good.  Momma said something like this could happen.  I think I literally put the phone down, put my fingers in my ears and started saying "I'm not listening to you!"  And you wouldn't you know it!! THAT's the procedure the doctor want to use on me! Part of me is completely freaked out at the concept and part of me is like someone better have a video camera handy because it's going to be WILD!!  If I remember ANY of it, there will be one crazy post about that!!  Holy Toledo, Batman!! Not sure I'm ready for that part...not gonna lie!

But the supposedly good news about doing this high-tech type of surgery is that my recovery should be reduced in the short term and any deficiencies that are present immediately after the surgery (say if my speech is somewhat slurred) should go away sooner.  So the therapy after surgery is technically Step 3. I will more than likely have problems with my speech and right-side mobility for awhile immediately following surgery but Dr. Schmidt seemed to think I would like recover those abilities completely.

Step 4:  No matter how much of Wilbur they manage to remove, chances are high that some part of him will remain with me.  That means that I will also have to undergo radiation or chemotherapy to shrink him down to size in the short term.  I may have to face the fact that after all this, Wilbur may still be with me for the rest of my life.  Even though he's slow growing, they may never be able to completely "evict" or "assassinate" him.

The timing for all of this is unfortunately still up in the air.  Assuming I can figure out how to get the MRI this fall, the earliest they can do the surgery would be December.  At that point, I'd probably end up waiting until January.  I know it may not be a popular issue right now with some people reading this, but the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) may end up being the only way for me to get this surgery and avoid medical bankruptcy.  I haven't seen an actual bill for anything yet but just reading through the steps, all I see are $$$ adding up.  The way things stand now, if I don't qualify for Medicaid, I would have a hard time finding insurance at all.  And if I did find insurance they could charge me out the wazoo for it!  Under the Affordable Care Act, I can no longer be denied coverage or charged more because I have a pre-existing condition.  I want to have at least another 50 years with this brain and in this body.  So love it or hate it, right now the Affordable Care Act is working in my favor!