New Normal

One Sunday morning in March, the one closest to St. Patrick's Day, I drove to meet friends for brunch at the Lazy Day Cafe.  It was kind of a big deal because it was the first time I had driven on my own since the surgery.  I turned on the CD player (Dad doesn't understand my music unless I happen to be listening to oldies or country) as I was driving to meet Krista and Mercedes.  I was almost to the cafe when it happened..."On Top of the World" by Imagine Dragons started playing.  It was the first time I'd heard the song since my surgery and I lost it.  Crying so hard I about couldn't see, I suddenly started laughing in sheer joy because it finally hit me...I'd survived!

You see, I'd cried the first time I heard this song and listened to the lyrics (click here to view the lyrics) because I kept thinking "That's how I'm going to feel after the surgery!"  In my mind before the surgery, this song was going to be my victory song.  So there I was having a full on Steel Magnolias moment as soon as the song started playing.  There's this part in Steel Magnolias after Shelby's funeral where Truvie says "laughter through tears is my favorite emotion" that I guess I had never fully understood until that moment.

Lazy Day Cafe with Krista and Mercedes

It was during the week following this brunch that I had a series of follow-up appointments.  One with my neurosurgeon and one with an oncologist at the Huntsman Cancer Institute, because he specializes in continuing care for brain tumor patients.  It was on the way to this appointment when I came across this! 

Those of you who had Bessie for Latin at Burns may recognize part of this image, particularly this part...(since this was one I remember working on in high school)

But who knew that the puzzle we did way back when was actually part of a larger puzzle with 24,000 pieces (yes, you read that right).  Random side note, I know but I thought it was awesome!

With Lisa

And it's hard for me believe that five months have passed since that time.  In April, I completed my speech therapy.  Actually, I met with Lisa just before the PRT Dept. Luncheon where I received the Most Inspirational Masters Student Award, I may be the first person to receive that award two years in a row.  That was also the weekend that Dad and I headed on a cross-country trip back to NC.

PRT Award Luncheon

I believe that some of you know that I wasn't in NC a full week before I packed up and headed to Brazil for almost two weeks.  But what you might not have realized was that this was another test in my book.  I had missed going to Kenya in September 2013 because of Wilbur and since that time one of my goals had been to be well enough to travel to Brazil for the 2014 conference.  And I don't think it hit me until I was in the São Paulo airport and couldn't order in Portuguese that it dawned on me I was in South America...in the Southern Hemisphere for the first time in my life! Based on my experience at the airport, I was afraid I was in for more than I bargained for and wouldn't be able to communicate at all (again). 

Hotel Pirá Miúna with a Travelers Palm out front

 Luckily, the airport was my biggest struggle.  I absolutely fell in love with Bonito and the surrounding area.  I probably need to dedicate a separate post to my time in Brazil.  


Now I'll have you know that I've been working on this post since that Sunday in March and have just never been able to finish it for some reason.  But in the past couple of months I have been reminded once again how utterly precious and fragile a gift life is in the first place.  Its bittersweet because while this has been a summer of friend and family celebrations (including the birth of my nephew Emmett!) it has also been a time of mourning family friends we lost.  My thoughts and prayers go out to all those who have recently lost a loved one.

One year ago today, I posted this to Facebook: 

It's hard for me to believe that a year has gone by since I was diagnosed.  In some ways it feels like it was more than a year ago since I found out and in others it feels like it was yesterday.  I had more follow-up appointments in June and everything is still looking good.  I will have more follow-ups in October and I know the doctors plan to keep a close eye on me for awhile, after all having a brain tumor is a life sentence and chances are that I haven't heard the last of Wilbur yet.  However, for the time being, I'm going to enjoy living life for awhile!  I still have a few lingering issues with my speech, mostly when I'm tired.  Sometimes there are words I that won't come to me, other things I mispronounce, a slight weakness still with the right corner of my mouth, but I've realized that I'm the only one who notices and I shouldn't be self-conscious about it.  And so while in some ways, my life has changed forever in ways I never expected, I've realized that the new normal for me is a good place to be.