Two Strong Stubborn Southern Women

In the hospital, I remember Mercedes being the first to use this word to describe me and my handling of this situation. I've since heard it over and over both in person and in the posts of friends and family online.

STRONG

But I have to admit, in this context, I don't think I really know what that word means.  I've never really interacted with a lot of people who get this kind of news.  So I don't understand what the expected reaction is or how to respond with strength.  I just keep thinking "it is what it is and there's nothing I can do about it right now."  There's no reason to scream and shout and ask "why me?"  It's happened, I can't change it.  The doctor said that there's a possibility that Wilbur has been with me for 5 or maybe even 10 years already.  Yes, I probably should have recognized that something was really wrong when Wilbur's temper tantrums started and gotten it checked out sooner.  But I'm a notorious procrastinator!

So again, I ask what makes someone strong in the face of adversity.  It's not a lack of crying, cause the Lord knows I have cried until my eyes hurt several times since this ordeal started.  I called Catharine at 4 a.m. my time the day after I got out of the hospital crying so hysterically it's a wonder she understood a word I said (that was the moment the initial shock wore off).  

For some reason, the image that keeps popping into my head is the Willow Tree from my Grandma Hattie's front yard.  You know the branches of a willow don't seem very strong and it's not a good tree for climbing (her Magnolia tree was much better plus you had the added benefit of being hidden by the thick glossy leaves).  But willows have deep roots because they are always seeking sources of water.  And since the branches are pliant, it's the willow that can stand up to a hurricane.  While other trees break, the willow bends.

I also question whether it's really strength on my part or sheer mule-headed stubbornness!  I'm sure there are people reading this right now who would be more than happy to tell anyone just how stubborn I am (cough, cough...Danielle, Mercedes, Amelia, Catharine, Jamie, I might as well just say anyone who has spent a prolonged amount of time in my company!)  I will be upfront in saying that I know I am stubborn and that I get it honest!!  I had the pleasure of growing up with two Grandmas who were hands down two of the strongest, most stubborn Southern Matriarchs you would ever hope to meet in your life!! 

I mean let's think about this a minute, Hattie Beatrice Poole Cooke was born in October, 1911 and Minnie Mae (Macie) Swink Ledford was born in March 1912.  Think about all the events in history that they witnessed and survived!!  World War I, the Great Depression, World War II, Korean War, Vietnam, the Civil Rights Movement, the Space Race, the Cold War, the list goes on.  They both learned how to drive cars when cars were still new technology, they saw the first televisions, first "talkie" movies, the first color televisions and movies, cordless phones, computers, cell phones.  It's overwhelming when you really start to think about all the changes they witnessed in their lifetimes.

With Ayako at the Celebration of Cultures, ESTC12 Monterey, CA

 But again, I digress.  When it comes to stubbornness, both women had it in spades!!  One of my favorite stories about Grandma Macie was from when she was young, still a teenager.  The short bob hair style had just come into fashion and someone in her circle had gotten their hair cut.  But her father wouldn't let her cut her hair because it was so thick and long and beautiful.  She got it in her head that if she went and filled her hair full of cuckleburrs, well then her dad would just have to let her get her hair cut.  (This is explains so much about why I am the way I am, doesn't it?)  Instead of getting her hair cut, she got sat down in front of one of women in her family who had to go through and pull out every last cuckleburr!

I spent a lot of time with Grandma Hattie as a teenager.  I wonder if she knew then that I'd be the one to carry on the Dried Apple Fried Pie tradition.  MawMaw Hattie couldn't hear very well for at least the last ten years of her life or so, but she sure didn't want a hearing aid.  So she learned to read lips. (Again, if you ever wondered where I get it from, here it is)  If Hattie didn't want to hear what you had to tell her, she would deliberately look away from your lips or focus on some point over your shoulder so she didn't have to listen to you!!  I saw her do this to my Momma and other family members time and time again!  It was usually all I could do to keep from laughing out loud because I recognized when she was doing it!

I'd like to think that perhaps some of my strength comes from having known and spent so much time with these women.  The picture I posted of me dressed in 1940's attire was a way for me to pay tribute to them at ESTC last year.  We held the first Celebration of Cultures and everyone was invited to dress up in a way that represented their heritage.  I kept thinking since both sides of my family have been in the US since the 1800's, that coming up with an outfit that paid homage to a way my Grandmas might have dressed would be the most appropriate outfit for me. (Plus I had always wanted a half-hat and found that fabulous blue velvet one at a vintage store in Monterey)

So what I really want to know is:

What do you consider strong?

Who do you look up to as figures of strength?  What attributes do they have?

How do you think I've shown strength? (I promise I'm not fishing for compliments or anything, I genuinely want to figure out how my actions are perceived as strength)

Let me know what you think...